I have my emotional break down tonight.
I'm back with my old playlist.
It feels like all what i have was taken one by one and it makes me mad.
I punched the wall.
I'm thinking, is this my punishment for all the bad things i've ever done when i'm totally fucked and messed up with my life? Yung moments na nagpapaka wasted ako, yosi, cuss, not going to church, cutting classes, kain lahat ng pinagbabawal at kahit anong kagagohang nagawa ko.
Do i still deserve to feel joy? To feel contented?
To feel winner? To feel lift up?
I always turn myself away to the people who truly cares for me or do they really have care for me?
I wanna go back to my old self where i was so happy of what i had.
I am devoured by wrath, resentment and sorrow. I can't feel the true joy.
I erased all depressive music i had back then but tonight i restore all of them.
I am so fucking messed up! I regret everything.
I just wish to be happy and okay.
Please somebody help me.
I am tired to wake up feeling not okay.
I am tired to fight back bcos it's useless, i'm definitely a loser.
My head hurts.
My hand hurts.
My heart hurts.
Naaawa ako sa mga taong tinatalikuran ko at nadadamay sa madness ko.
Gusto ko lang naman maging masaya pero bakit ayaw ng mundo
Nakakapagod na kayang umiyak tuwing gabi at magpanggap na okay ka pag umaga.
Nakakainggit yung mga taong nakakangiti ng totoo, yung nakakaramdam ng totoong kasiyahan.
Napaka malas kong tao, sana lahat ng lumalapit sakin hindi nadadamay sa kamalasang dala dala ko everyday.
Minsan naisip ko baka may shinigami yatang nakasunod sakin kaya sobrang malas ko.
Kawawa sakin lahat ng taong involved sa buhay ko. Sorry i'm such a disappointment sobrang naguguilty ako! Sobra sobra na pang gagago ko sainyo. Sobra na rin akong nasasaktan sa mga nangyayari sa sarili ko ngayon.
Naisip ko ng sumuko pero nandito pa rin ako nakaupo, hindi lumalaban kasi alam kong talo pa rin ako sa huli. Walang sense yung paglaban ko araw araw.
Gusto ko lang matapos tong gulo sa loob ko.
Gusto ko lang maging payapa.
Bukas sana maging okay na ako kasi ang sakit na ng mata ko kakaiyak.
I'm back with my old playlist.
It feels like all what i have was taken one by one and it makes me mad.
I punched the wall.
I'm thinking, is this my punishment for all the bad things i've ever done when i'm totally fucked and messed up with my life? Yung moments na nagpapaka wasted ako, yosi, cuss, not going to church, cutting classes, kain lahat ng pinagbabawal at kahit anong kagagohang nagawa ko.
Do i still deserve to feel joy? To feel contented?
To feel winner? To feel lift up?
I always turn myself away to the people who truly cares for me or do they really have care for me?
I wanna go back to my old self where i was so happy of what i had.
I am devoured by wrath, resentment and sorrow. I can't feel the true joy.
I erased all depressive music i had back then but tonight i restore all of them.
I am so fucking messed up! I regret everything.
I just wish to be happy and okay.
Please somebody help me.
I am tired to wake up feeling not okay.
I am tired to fight back bcos it's useless, i'm definitely a loser.
My head hurts.
My hand hurts.
My heart hurts.
Naaawa ako sa mga taong tinatalikuran ko at nadadamay sa madness ko.
Gusto ko lang naman maging masaya pero bakit ayaw ng mundo
Nakakapagod na kayang umiyak tuwing gabi at magpanggap na okay ka pag umaga.
Nakakainggit yung mga taong nakakangiti ng totoo, yung nakakaramdam ng totoong kasiyahan.
Napaka malas kong tao, sana lahat ng lumalapit sakin hindi nadadamay sa kamalasang dala dala ko everyday.
Minsan naisip ko baka may shinigami yatang nakasunod sakin kaya sobrang malas ko.
Kawawa sakin lahat ng taong involved sa buhay ko. Sorry i'm such a disappointment sobrang naguguilty ako! Sobra sobra na pang gagago ko sainyo. Sobra na rin akong nasasaktan sa mga nangyayari sa sarili ko ngayon.
Naisip ko ng sumuko pero nandito pa rin ako nakaupo, hindi lumalaban kasi alam kong talo pa rin ako sa huli. Walang sense yung paglaban ko araw araw.
Gusto ko lang matapos tong gulo sa loob ko.
Gusto ko lang maging payapa.
Bukas sana maging okay na ako kasi ang sakit na ng mata ko kakaiyak.
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