deep shit

 I feel a little extra shit today.

My boyfriend broke up with me last Friday because of me, not updating well.

I thought it will just be another misunderstanding between us but today, I feel like he was getting serious about it.

I cried so much today.

I feel really bad shit today.

I drank aone, and cried a lot.

I feel like I was the one who's loving deeply between our relationship.

He was there, doing his usual routine.

Playing basketball and having fun, while here I am, hiding at my room with my puffy eyes.

I wanna go to the salon and get my hair done just once in a while but I always think about is the money that will be going to waste.

I know is for my well being but I feel guilthy, wasting my own money for my wants.

I can't even go to the places I wanna go alone.

I am so patheytic.

I am ddubnk rihgnniw and crying while writing all this shit.

I am really so fuckong pathetiic.

It is so unfair to me, crying this heart break while he's enjoying himself playing basketball with his family watching him by his side and I am all alone cryiinig in my room..

I am so pathetic.

I don't knoww if this is just a trauma bond, but I don't like to be this way.

I need to cry this all out, I hope soon, I'll be alright.

 Am very pathetic today.

We are getting our 4th year anniversary tho, on the 8th of junne, and I think he will not give any shit about it.

This fucking hurt me so much  that I wanted to cry all out tpday because I know this ain't worth it.

His mother follwede on Instagram and for that I thought this is just a misunderstanding, but then I realize, I am so very stupid for believing in that shit.

I am very blind.

I am a big pathetic.

I can;to take this shit anymore, I really woshj this shit will be over soon :(

I am not really pruodu of this.

I want my old self back, I'm really sad about this shit.