Regulating emotions

I'm here at my office today.

Found out, my degree in college helped me to understand myself more, 

not just me, but the people around me as well.

Like why people react that way,

why people feel that way,

why people did that way.

So today, I'm kinda proud that I handled my tears well.

I was on a verged of tears earlier because of the life that I want to give to my family but still can't 'cause it's ain't my "season" yet..

I felt guilty and pathetic because of that.

I know I shouldn't be.. because I am beyond lucky and grateful for what I have right now.

I have a complete, safe, happy and healthy family..

I have my cute little dogs.

I have my loving, sweet and supportive parents..

We can eat healthy and delicious food..

I am very lucky to have them.

Though our life wasn't perfect and easy..

We have faced a lot of struggles; financially, mentally, emotionally and spiritually..

but I am grateful as we are still here, together in my life.

Going back earlier..

I was on a verge of tears because of that..

And its not that I don't want to cry in my office..

I want to feel strong..

and I felt guilty for getting jealous and envy to other people that can go to any places they want because they have the resources and we have not.

I have a faith that someday, I can bring my parents to the places they want to go, and eat to some restaurants they wanna try.

So.. what I did is I used my senses;

1. I stood up and take a small walk inside my office.

2. I look around, and I saw my aircon.

3. I embraced the cold coming out through the aircon.

4. I listened to the tiny noise made of the aircon when I tried to switch the mode of the remote.

That helped me divert my attention to the aircon and stopped the sadness from roaring in the dungeon..

And held back the tears from swaying in the window.